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17-Jul-2019 13:27

Dating your best friend-24

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She looks forward to mornings where the biggest dilemma is what coffee mug to use.She is also addicted to Sharpie Pens, making to-do lists, and Arizona fruit punch. Lovelies: Yesterday, I was talking about how awesome it was to have Jake Stein* along on the weekend trip--and also talking about how Jake and I went from being best friends to being boyfriend-and-girlfriend for a brief period. " I said, thinking he was just feeling randy, and annoyed that he would risk our friendship on a whim. (Or, at least, MY insecurities.) His writing career was going well, and the work he did interested me. What's more, I was terrified we might ruin the friendship. And I really do think, after all, that the main problem was our lack of chemistry.The question of our dating came up like this: Jake and I had gone back to his apartment for a nightcap after having dinner together ... But he told me he'd been mulling it over for a while, and he was serious about wanting to give things a go. And not having Jake in my life seemed unimaginably painful. Maybe incompatible phermones are to blame--who knows?It took a few months before Jake and I began to hang out again.But then one afternoon, after we'd both (independently) moved out of D. to return to New York, I was getting my hair cut at my old favorite place--Antonio Prieto--when it dawned on me that I was just down the street from Jake's new office.) case of commitment-phobia on my part, rather than any real doubts about the situation at hand; maybe the supposed chemistry conundrum was just a cover for my fear of getting closer to him. (Trust me on that: About six months after we broke up, Jake said, "The sex really wasn't very good, was it?And so I decided that the very best thing I could do was to give it a shot and see what happened--in part because I also felt fairly confident, upon reflection, that my friendship with Jake was strong enough to survive just about anything. " And indeed, it was not.) Still, the break-up--understandable and inevitable though it was--hurt. After all, if I couldn't make it work with this person I cared so deeply about, and got along so well with, how in the hell was I ever going to make thing work?

Dating your best friend-62

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We fell in love, slowly but surely, during our graduate school years together, doing research in the same university department.(Dear me, I'm even tearing up a little as I write this.)Anyway, the experience has me convinced that BOTH friends need to feel pretty strong chemistry before they move from being platonic pals to romantic partners.Otherwise, I think the chance of it working out are slim.Norma Martinez lives in South Texas with her partner-in-crime and their two cat babies.

She likes to consider herself a mosquito biology expert turned writing teacher enthusiast.(We had always been in tentative e-mail, even after the split.) I texted Jake, told him I was nearby, that I'd get out of the salon around 630--and did he want to grab a drink at that point? and luckily, after that, our friendship fell back into place fairly quickly.



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