Mature dating young men
Woman B: I was 23 when we started dating and he was 39. We got back in contact and I realized how much I missed having him in my life. Woman A: Looking back, I think he needed a partner who would tolerate his bullshit if he was to be in a relationship at all. Woman A: The longest lasting of these relationships started when I was 18 and he was 40. However, we didn't start dating until I was 18 and he was 36. They split up around 2009 and I didn't hear from him for 18 months. Do you think your age was part of the attraction for him?I think that because I was 18, he had expectations that I would be wild and crazy and open to anything.There were things that he expected with his party lifestyle that I felt very uncomfortable with, but would ignore my instinct and go along with to make him happy.My theory is that the two are linked and that the age difference facilitates a dom/sub dynamic.Woman B: I think I've always been attracted to people older than me. There is a particular immaturity connected to the hookup culture which I just have no time for. I've found that most guys my age have trouble dealing with strong-willed, smart-mouthed girls, even though we are supposed to live in an age of feminism and all. My friend (who was my age and in high school with me) worked at a ski resort near us. He's always been attracted to a person's personality. He actually thought I was older than I am, and both his wives were close to him in age.
I think that there is definitely some truth to the "age is just a number" mentality, but having the experience I did, I don't buy it completely.None of my friends at school understood the relationship and they had no interest in hanging out with him when he would come visit me at school.Additionally, the friends that he had that were his age were incredibly judgmental of my age and the relationship.Did/does it impact sex at all, for better or for worse? This was one of the many ways the relationship was emotionally abusive — sex was always ostensibly on the table, but no matter how much I threw myself at him, I was always rejected. The fact that this man didn't want to have sex with me in spite of claiming to love me, in spite of the fact that men allegedly always want sex, in spite of the fact that they allegedly especially want sex with much younger women — all of this made the continual rejection especially painful. We have different tastes sexually — I'm more adventurous — but that has nothing to do with age.
If anything, his emotional maturity has allowed us to have those tough conversations about sex.How did/does the age gap impact your relationship once you were in it?