And I go from feeling sorry for him, and wanting to help, to not being able to stand being anywhere near him, angry and then to feeling completely numb.I feel isolated because I don’t have anyone to talk to about all of this.The first year of my recovery did not see many changes in our relationship as I suspect he did not think the changes in me would stick but the last year had been good, and I believed we had a good shot of making a happy life together.And then he did two things that sent red flags up for me.Fast forward to 2 years ago, I stopped drinking, began therapy, became more in touch with me and living my life in the present and commenced on a road of gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in my life.I tried extremely hard to right so many wrongs I’d been responsible for in my relationship with my husband.I knew he loved me more than I loved him, and knew he would never leave me.
Something in my gut is telling me it is worse than what he has admitted to so far.So when the following month’s phone bill came and he again pulled the detail, I put on my private investigators hat and began digging.I pulled cell phone bills for the prior year and found a large amount of phone calls to 1.800 sex/chat lines. I then found web history of looking at ads on craigs list as well as various phone calls and text to random cell numbers.I believe he did so because he did not realize I had the phone records for the year because I did not go into a lot of detail about what I found.
It took a couple days for him to realize I was very serious about my discoveries, and he has since been extremely remorseful, has gone to see a sex therapist and is going to his first 12 step meeting tomorrow night.
“Hi Jo Ann, I wrote you a few weeks ago, and have attached the email below. Turns out it is worse, so far admission of seeing to prostitutes, swears hand job only but he also swore he never met up with anyone. And happy to have the site for support Thanks so much, My So Called Life Hi Joann It was a breath of fresh air to find your site, and read through so many stories I could relate to.