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The conversation about the impossibility of finding man-love in Lotus Land ricochets between raucous laughter and thoughtful reflection until the table goes silent and the subject finally sinks, like a stone thrown in an impossibly dark wishing well.“This is not a lighthearted issue,” says Jodi Derkson.“There is a serious problem here.”PHOTOS: MORE SINGLES LOOKING FOR LOVEThis is Vancouver, the women explain, in conversational shorthand that speaks volumes about the city’s widely-perceived shortcomings for straight daters.I was dating every night.” Fox has an endearing, girl-next-door vibe: Zooey Deschanel with a healthy scoop of irreverent wench. “We are ghettoized, we don’t intermingle and the landscape isn’t conducive to community.”Sara Stocksand, 38 years old and single for a few years, isn’t afraid to say she wants the whole package, including marriage and children.
She’d be happy with just a little more warmth and sensuality. Rachel Fox, a 34-year-old writer, says her experiences of meeting men in other cities, like New York, where she used to live, are incredibly different than in Vancouver: “The pool is a lot bigger there.Guys have a hard time, too Ron Lee, 36, a marketer who ran a dating coaching service for many years in Vancouver, agrees that it’s tough to make a connection in this city.“Vancouver is the hardest city to date in in North America. In Edmonton, Toronto, Calgary there is a much higher chance that people will come out just to meet you for a coffee, just for the social aspect.“My friends and I talk about this all the time,” says Radu.
For the record, she says, “I don’t think Vancouver men suck.(Same-sex dating in Vancouver has its own set of opportunities and challenges that warrants a whole other article.)For many singles, the stepping stones to love’s distant shore are broken or missing — the appreciative or inviting smiles, casual conversations struck up on street corners, in bars, restaurants, grocery lineups and online dating offer only a small pool of confused and confusing possibilities.